ASPIRATION LIST

Someone recently said they kept a white board of all the things they wanted to do in life; sort of like a bucket list.  She said that she's achieved almost everything she wrote down so far.  I liked that idea and maybe I'll make some sort of cool graphic to hang on the wall too, but I thought I would start by writing my aspirations (or at least as many as I can think of right now) down here.

ASPIRATION LIST

• Create a successful business
• Become self-employed
• Qualify and run the Boston Marathon
• Do an Ironman
• Travel to all 7 continents 
• Pay off my student loans early!
• Travel internationally a lot
• Travel domestically a lot
• Travel Texas
• Live in another country
• Donate a large sum of money to charity(s)
• Teach a class
• Get published
• Write a book
• Give a great, inspiring speech to a crowd
• Fight for a cause and make headway with it

Well, that's all I can think of right now.  I'm sure I can come up with a bunch of other aspirations, but that's a good starting point. What is on your aspiration list?

LETTER 2: TO MY DAD

Yesterday, I left off my letter at:

Dear Dad,

My therapist wants me to write a letter to you, so here goes.  I feel like I’m supposed to be angry with you for leaving me, but I’m not.  I know it wasn’t your fault that you left, it simply was your time.  Honestly, it’s been too long to harbor any feelings of anger.  I think I’ll stop there for right now, since I’m at work and I’m starting to tear up.  More later.

Well, I guess I have to keep writing, so here goes....

What I do feel is sadness.  I'm sad that I never got to know the person who I hear so many great things about.  I'm sad that I never got to know the father who adored me.  I'm sad that you never got to share in the special moments of my life, like the first play I performed in, the visit day at sleep-away camp, the trips to New York City, and of course the bigger occasions like graduations and my wedding.  My therapist asked if I felt like something was missing those days and frankly, I didn't, but perhaps that's because your life slipped away when I was two years old and I didn't have much time to get accustomed to you being present nor did I associate your presence being at special occasions.  Ugh more tears.  More tomorrow.

THE HEAD IS A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD

Someone recently said: "Don't stay in your head too long because it's actually a bad neighborhood."  I thought that was very insightful.  We often have very destructive thoughts about ourselves and of others when we let our heads take control. 

It was explained to me that the brain forms a groove of negative thoughts.  After years and years of adding to this groove, our instinct is to keep adding to it, feeding ourselves with negative reinforcement.  It doesn't have to be a permanent grove, though.  We make a positive groove right next to it and the more we feed the positive groove, the deeper it gets.  It takes work and a conscious effort, but you CAN change your brain.  Get out of those negative thoughts.  Get out of the head of destruction.  Affirm your worth!

Today's positive affirmation: I am beautiful.

Today's gratitude: I am grateful to be surrounded by supportive people.

LETTER 1: TO MY DAD

Dear Dad,

My therapist wants me to write a letter to you, so here goes.  I feel like I’m supposed to be angry with you for leaving me, but I’m not.  I know it wasn’t your fault that you left, it simply was your time.  Honestly, it’s been too long to harbor any feelings of anger.  I think I’ll stop there for right now, since I’m at work and I’m starting to tear up.  More later.